August 22, 2003
Welcome back to another edition of the Way Weird Ezine! Once again, please forward today's issue to as many friends as possible and ask them to subscribe here: http://www.wayweird.com/subscribe.php
1) Sniper Attacks West Virginia
2) What's More Disturbing
3) Weird Facts
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Sniper Attacks West Virginia
Ballistics evidence conclusively links three recent shooting deaths at convenience stores around Charleston, West Virginia to one weapon. It looks as if America is under attack again by a heartless sniper.
Last year when America was under attack by snipers a man by the name of Charles Gearey was putting together a rally throughout Virginia to show that he and his supporters were no going to let the snipers scare them into hiding in their homes. Here's a quote from last year:
"We as Americans cannot let this beast terrorize us and keep us from living our day to day lives. Being an American means that you're free. That you don't have to be scared to fill your car up with gas. To not be afraid to buy a garden hose at the Home Depot. You should not look over your shoulder when you enter a frickin Ponderosa steakhouse. The food is okay at a Ponderosa, but it's no Red Lobster."
Well, Mr. Gearey's contacted us this week and told us that he plans on getting another rally put into place for next Saturday.
Here's what he had to say:
"I really feel that last year's rally scared the snipers into turning themselves in. The police want you to believe that they caught the snipers from that stupid truck driver's 911 call, but I have some inside info that tells me they actually turned themselves over to authorities. I know in my heart that my rally showed them that America wasn't afraid of them, and since they thrived off of fear they had to give up. I'm so proud of my accomplishment. But did I get any recognition for stopping the snipers, hell no."
We asked him what he had planned for this new sniper:
"If the shoe fits no reason to buy a new one as they say. Next week I'm holding rallies all over the West Virginia area. I have 18 volunteers so far including my wife, kids, and neighbors down the street. We have 10 days to get more people to join up, and I'm confident that we should have a quarter of a million people turn out. Just like last year we're going to break up in parties of ten, five adults, and five children per group.
We're then going to either stand in gas station lots, or at Home Depot and Ponderosa lots along the geographical area where the sniper is shooting her victims. We're going to wear shirts that have large painted targets on them once again, and hold up signs that read 'We Dare You To Put A Bullet Between Our Eyes. America Has A Constitution For Freedom'. I'm even going to make it fun for the kids by hiring a face painter to paint small bulls-eye marks on the kids foreheads."
Just like last year we urged Mr. Gearey to keep children out of the potential line of fire, but just like last year he told us:
"Hell no. I don't want my kids to be scared to live a normal life. I actually have a three month old son that I'm going to put in a child backpack called a Snugli, and I'm going to wear him on my chest. I dare that sniper to put a bullet through my child and through me at the same time. My God do I dare her. I would rather my children be murdered on the streets full of bullet shrapnel than to have them afraid to order a popcorn shrimp platter at a Red Lobster."
We asked Mr. Gearey why he believes the sniper is a female. Last year he also believed that the sniper was a female, and he was incorrect.
"Yeah so what if I was mistaken last year, if it wasn't for my rally last year more people would have been killed. I just have a gut feeling that the sniper this time is a female, her kills reek of Air Force marksmanship training. This is one cold hearted b****. And trust me when I tell you that she isn't one to play games. It's going to be much harder for me to stop her as easily as I stopped John Lee Malvo and John Muhammad last year, but I'll hold as many rallies as possible until she's stopped."
We at the Way Weird urge anyone reading this article to not attend or participate in any way with Mr. Gearey's rallies. Please let the authorities handle this case.
If you would like to discuss this article with us we have created a special email address for you to contact us at: email@example.com
We had to do this due to the email virus that is going around. But please email us with your feedback about Mr. Gearey. We would like to know if you think he should, or shouldn't hold the rally.
What's More Disturbing?
Which of the following two images do you think is more disturbing that the other:
Champion: The Family Man:
Press here to find out:
Send us your vote here: firstname.lastname@example.org
Which of the following three facts is false:
1) A house cat spends 70% of its time sleeping!
Last Week's False Fact:
*Uranus' winter and summer seasons last the equivalent of 3 Earth years!
Send your guess here: email@example.com